Going with the flow

Going with the flow

cross my heart, i have

no idea where the heck i’m going

like what do i really want?

is writing truly my destiny or am i

just making it up as i go along?

when my fluid perspectives

take me every which way,

i try to use all you’ve given me

God knows i try.

 

Picture: makeandtell.com

Inspiration: Him & I – G Easy and Halsey

Advertisements
In the Middle

In the Middle

favim . com

you know that wavy line…the one

between extreme and not?

well, i crossed it. i got

caught up in a life that

wasn’t mine, dancing to the

sweet melody of curiosity.

i spied her hazel eyes and

for the first time, wrong felt

goddamn right.

what was i supposed to do?

not kiss and tell?

her soft voice whispered to me

“sober is boring”…i listened

and it was indeed, except

i forgot the blurred line, the one

between just enough and too much.

in the end, i lost my mind

to find the truth and if you’re

wondering, of course i still

indulge my hand picked vices

only this time, the line is

lucid…now i know better to

stay in the damn middle.

 

Picture: favim.com

Inspiration: Ecclesiastes 7:16-18 NLT (My favorite book of the Bible btw)

FOMO

FOMO

cell0-350x200

I feel like a language you

can’t understand, like

i’m missing out on

life, yours, mine.

don’t think for a

second that my roses

are without thorns,

i’m low-key in my lane

fighting, learning, chasing

the dreams hovering within

my head space.

…thoughts…mind…power…

is anything really worth it though?

i keep trying and trying,

tossed by the wind like

a tumbleweed. maybe

this time, life will

let me spread my

wings and fly high

up into her sapphire sky.

 

Picture: unknown

Inspiration: FOMO – Fear of Missing Out!

Avant-garde I

Avant-garde I

P231101-0

Maybe i’m running a little far away from this life as a cry for help; for you to hold me and never let me go. To tell you the truth, if it comes easy in life, it may as well not have come at all. Pain must lead to gain and there’s no in-between , i’m realizing that the more i painfully grow, the sweeter the berries i bear. So maybe i’m running far away from this life to find myself again, to just bare my mind to pain that will light the way for beautiful beginnings…

Picture: mrperswall.com

Inspiration: Run Away by The Afters

PS: I turned 25 on the 6th. YAY! half way down the road to being a 30 year old woman like OMG!!!

Highs and Lows

Highs and Lows

a1126806630_10

i’m struggling to stay fucking calm, to sober up and realize that you love me despite the highs and lows. i feel like these vices are what keep me in the loop, insane enough, ever ready to send me to mars when life’s bullshit stares me point blank in the face. i think i’m obsessed with the idea that there’s a moment of bliss, lurking in the corners, waiting for that predestined moment to pop up and make me smile smiles of rainbows and stars as i float. but who am i kidding? it’s a fucking pipe dream, i’ll never be satisfied, i’ll always want more and some fucking more and i don’t think there’s indeed a place of true certainty. i mean, if i don’t find my happy now in this shit show, they say it’s probably never gonna happen right? i’m pretty sure i’ll keep fighting for my life until i turn to dust and i’m not trying to be negative, it’s just the reality of my life and others. in the end, i’m doing what i can now, fucking living and sometimes i believe, other times like thomas, i fucking don’t and that’s okay. if i rise or fall, you say you’re with me either way my life fucking goes and i guess i’ll stick with that.

Picture: modernvices.bandcamp.com

Inspiration: ill Mind of Hopsin 7

What’s life without problems?

What’s life without problems?

strength-809x404

They’re endless

my problems, like

a set of matryoshka dolls.

I keep complaining in my head, but

this is the life I chose,

this is exactly what you get when

you leave behind your

place of comfort…

paddling for the horizons…

searching for purpose.

After all is said and done, I’m

proud of who I’ve become

all my failures, every pain

molding me into a

better version of myself.

They’re endless…. yes

our problems will never end.

 

Picture: adamhayhow.com

Inspiration: Pain is beautiful, it shapes us into who we need to be

Dark clouds

Dark clouds

A broad smile is plastered across my ebony face, but I know deep down I’m not okay. Lately I feel like I’m struggling to see the light, like my bags are packed and I’m waiting for a train whose arrival is uncertain. I know that life is a constant roller coaster and the good times are short as a commercial but I’m aching for a moment of peace, to just cry tears of relief. It’s hard enough that my best friend is oceans away, more so it’s heartbreaking waiting for my future to unfold like a flower in bloom, will I ever break free from this prison I was born into? They say patience is the key, but what do you do when the sadness begins to cloud your eyes?